It’s a brand new year and things are happening. Launching a new business (go over there and sign up for my newsletter) while still working a full time job, working on feeling good, all the usual. Hoping the pain in my knee disappears before volleyball starts up again next week. And I still have a lot more of the “I made stuff” posts to write. Maybe I’ll save them for closer to next Christmas. We’ll see. In previous years, in January I would be writing about whether I’d stuck to my diet/exercise/self-flagellation program and getting on the scale and wringing my hands about whether I’d lost weight. This year is different. This year is all about feeling good.
So it was upsetting to me that in contrast to the feeling good that I want to feel, by the time I got to work today I was in a super bad mood. I don’t know why. I’d had a good weekend. Watched a movie with the kids, had family game night (Scrabble, which we won’t do again because holy slow and boring) made homemade pizzas (including the crust), Glee is back for another season. I spent $114 on sports helmets that my kids will only use once but are required for school trips (and decided to be thankful that a), I could get the helmets used so they were only $114 and not closer to $400, and b) I can afford to spend $114 on helmets when many people cannot). After seeing The Maze Runner on Friday night, my son was actually talking excitedly about reading a book, which is practically a miracle because nothing but Minecraft handbooks has ever motivated that kid to read of his own accord. He even went and bought the books with his Christmas gift card. I prepped a whole bunch of food for the week, so I was feeling pretty productive. And I’d gotten to level 50 in Candy Crush (I just started playing and I refuse to pay for anything or connect it to Facebook or ask friends, so I think it will take me a while to get to any kind of impressive level). But for some reason this morning I woke up pissed off and making a list in my head of all of the things I hate about everybody and all of the wrongs that have been done to me recently.
And then I asked myself “how is this helping me?” And I revisited how I wanted to feel (Authentic, Magical, Expansive) and realized I didn’t feel any of those things when making lists of (real and imagined) wrongs that have been done to me. So I decided it was time to sort my head from my ass and concentrate on the things I could make better.
So I read a few inspirational blogs. And I updated my own motivational boards and re-visited the actions I want to take for January. And reflected on how I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.
And it worked. My mood improved. I felt better. In fact, I had a good day.
It’s a powerful thing, this stopping and thinking about how I want to feel. It has the power to turn a crappy day into a good day pretty quickly. I’m impressed.