I’ve been reading a bunch of Mark Manson’s articles lately. If you haven’t checked this guy out, you really should. I’m finding his writing very thought provoking.
Anyway, today’s writing prompt is about regrets. Is there a past experience I’d like to go back in time and change the outcome of.
This is a tricky one for me, because in general, I think things happen for a reason and I likely wouldn’t be the person I am if I didn’t go through all of those things, even if I’m not super happy with the outcome, or going through them sucked or whatever.
But if I could change a decision I made, I think I would go back and not have lapband surgery. It was expensive and it caused me more pain and suffering than anything else, and I eventually had it taken out. At the time, I didn’t know that it wasn’t the solution I needed. I thought about whether I’d just change the outcome of the decision — that the band worked for me and I was able to keep off the weight that I’d lost and wasn’t constantly throwing up, but that just seems like magic and I guess I’m interpreting this changing something under my control. But even if that was under my control, I’m not sure if I would make that change. Because for me, it seems like if I had the band, I would have always been fighting with my mind and my body, even if I did manage to keep the weight off. These days, I’m actually managing not to fight my body. It’s an interesting experience.
And still. Would I really change that? Did I need to go through it to get to where I am today? I think there’s a distinct possibility that I did.
One decision I would definitely have made differently though — I wish I wouldn’t have sold my first house. When we decided to move out of that house, I wish we would have kept it and rented it out. That little house is worth a lot of money now, and the rental income we could have gotten on it would have easily paid the mortgage every month. By now, that mortgage would be paid off and I’d be making income as a landlord, or, if I didn’t want to be a landlord, I could sell the house for over double what I’d paid for it. That would be a nice chunk of equity. So yeah, that’s definitely something I’d change.
But that’s kind of an easy one, because I can do math to prove it would have likely been okay. All those other decisions — they’re much harder.