I’m having a dinner party and I get to invite ten famous people. Who will I invite?
Before I think about that, I’m really gonna need to think about stocking up on the booze, cause if there are famous people in my house, I’m going to need serious alcohol in my system to be able to have anything to say to them. And then of course I’ll have to avoid crossing that threshold of too much alcohol and looking like an idiot. That’s hard to manage. It already sounds stressful. I’ll probably end up cancelling the party and ordering Indian food.
Assuming that I wasn’t an introvert who needed booze to talk to strangers, never mind famous strangers, I’m still not sure who I would invite because I don’t really care about famous people. I’ve never really wanted to meet any famous people or anything. It’s never really occurred to me. But I’ll play along.
So, I would invite:
- Jack Johnson. I like his music. He seems like a good guy. He probably doesn’t drink though. And he strikes me as a very introverted guy, so the rest of the guest are gonna have to carry the conversation. Maybe Jack will sing.
- Oprah. Cause she would probably bring a really rockin’ hostess gift. Like a new car or a new house or something.
- Ellen. Cause she’s a good dancer and funny and would also probably give me a great gift. Apparently I’m greedy.
- George Clooney. Because I’ve liked him since The Facts of Life and for some reason he seems like he’d be easy to talk to.
- Bryan Baeumler. I realize he’s probably only famous in Canada, so you can look him up. But once he got here I bet you he wouldn’t be able to resist finishing all of our renovations. Bryan Baeumler is 4 years younger than I am. Seriously, how can that be?
- Roseanne. Cause seriously, Roseanne. She and Clooney could have a little mini-reunion.
- Paul Lafrance. Again, only famous in Canada. But apparently he drinks lots of wine, so that’s the main criteria right there. And between him and Baeumler, my house would look amazing!
- Joe Manganiello. Because he’s just so beautiful. I would just look at him and drool. My complaint about Magic Mike? Too much Channing Tatum and not enough Joe Manganiello. I’m gonna catch it for that, but sorry ladies, I do not see the Channing Tatum appeal. Doesn’t do it for me at all. They should make a Magic Mike spin off with Big Dick Richie as the main character.
- Jann Arden. Perhaps again only famous in Canada. If you haven’t heard of her, you should check her out. In fact, I will add a video. Anyway, in spite of the somewhat depressing nature of most of her music (which is awesome) when I’ve seen her in awards shows and whatnot she’s really funny and entertaining and I would actually like to chat with her. Oh, and oooh, a Jann Arden/Jack Johnson duet! Yes please.
- Louis CK. Cause he’s hilarious and actually seems like a good guy. That’s another famous person I could actually see myself actually wanting to talk to.
So there you have it. Basically, I want famous people to bring me gifts, fix my house, sing for me and allow me to drool over them. I’m surprised I didn’t pick a chef so someone else could make the food (that would be Guy Fieri by the way).
Here’s some Jann Arden for you:
And hey, some Jack Johnson too, cause why not:
September Writing Prompts #1. You are having a dinner party. Which ten famous people would be on your guest list?